So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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