Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
