i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
