he wants to bone in the snuggie
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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