Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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