Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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