Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
