My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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