Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
