Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
