IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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