I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
