Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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