i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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