My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
