so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
