im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
