Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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