i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
