she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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