Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
