Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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