She is in my trunk
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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