people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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