My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
