I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
