Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
