It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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