is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Randomize
