yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
