Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
