his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
