whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
