Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
