You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
