I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
