I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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