i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
