don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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