Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
