I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
