what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
