So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
