What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
