He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
