You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
