The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
