community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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