before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
