Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
