i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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