Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
True college students do jello shots in the library
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
