yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
